blog/enigma
Dear readers and all who stumble into this piece of infotechnological space, I welcome you. You have just caught my first post while being nice.
Yes, for those who had the misfortune to encounter me in my previous repelling incarnation, Jiasheng has decided to convert to nice person by disposing of all his unpleasant habits such as sarcasm, inappropriate jokes and other vices that are depised by all who did not favour him.
I am delighted to report this refreshing change. I wish to inform those who doubt this situation as a facade or a fad to kindly change their viewpoints. It is with ultimate sincerity and determination that I have made this decision, and thus I resolve to keep this attitude in check.
Therefore, please bear with me as I strive to continue being as I wish to be.
I show extreme gratitude in advance for all your understanding and acceptance.
signed, jiasheng
Word of the day (30/7/07) : punctilious
Yesterday was a weird day because I woke up with the complete dread that it's going to be a terrible day with extra terribleness in it.
Firstly I searched for the PTG form that I was supposed to hand in on Friday (and submitting it late warrants one JIANBAO already.) My mum was being in this mad flurry to find that form because apparently I've told her twice that I needed to hand it up and guilt-trip her that I needed to do the stupid JIANBAO which I loathe. So naturally she's in an irritable mood again as I munched my breakfast and she rummaged through my term 1 worksheets.
I did breathe a tiny sigh of relief because she, in her pique and all, said, "I wouldn't go for that stupid PTG!" and thus preventing me from worrying further about what my teachers would tell her about my artistic talent displayed on my worksheets in class.
In the end, I wrote a letter saying that my mum acknowledges that she wouldn't go for the stupid PTG and she signed it.
On the bus, something interesting happened. I was sitting behind an NJC guy in his PE attire when there was an incredible assault on my senses. More specifically, an unpleasant odor pervaded my surroundings. In other words, that guy stank.
Seriously, there was a musky smell coming from him whenever one leans too close. And the bad thing is that he's actually good-looking and all, so good luck to whatever girl who crushes on him. Either you get yourself a mask, or you get two crates of deodorant for him.
Which brings me to the point of those people who don't actually need deodorant but insists on spraying them all over the place and suffocating their poor classmates anyway. Fire and brimstone, that's where you're end up.
I was being so bored (while have a bunch of tattered nerves) that I wrote a note to him saying "Either you need a new soap, or you need to get a fresh change of PE attire."
I was going to pass it to him when he got off the bus first. I kept the note in my wallet just in case. Let's see I'm going to meet him on the bus or not today (hopefully not).
By the time I got to band, I was so stressed that I was convinced that this is the day that I'm going to splutter blood and die on the pavement.
During the 7 announcements, I met Bangky on the way and he was giving me a friendly pat on the back as he passed. I don't know why, but suddenly I felt a sense of enlightenment, like someone attaining Buddha status. Or something. Suddenly, the day felt easier.
So in any way, thank you Bangky! Sometimes there will always be seniors who remain nice.
In English we talked about pimples (not before submitting the essay which I didn't do). Speaking of pimples, I'm getting so stressed lately that I swear I'm going to compensate it with sleep. Or else I'll look like I have facial cancer or something.
Chem was relaxing. I stole some magnesium ribbons for Yaonian just for the criminal fun for it and after chem, I definitely felt better and more prepared for the chem test.
There was a free period for geog, so I did my essay then.
Then we learned about congruence in maths. Another stupid topic. About things mathematicians love to complicate.
Then Tan GC complained about my haircut. Again. (And the ultimate insult: saying it was identical to Josh's.)
Chem test was a breeze.
(Yep, I know, it's getting boring, so I'll end here. I'll scan my diary entries I just written to make it more interesting. Later.)
Now it's off to shower and bus and see-whether-I'll-meet-stinkguy.
Ciao.
signed, jiasheng
Whenever I'm thinking the worse possible thing had happened to me, somehow the God of Bad Luck will always happen to drop by and prove me wrong.
Some things just pile up at an exponential rate to the extent that one just crumbles under the overwhelming sight of it all. And when it comes to the procrastinator's view, he/she simply has to think of it to induce severe trauma and vomit and die on the streets.
Thank god I'm a professional procrastinator. I don't think of it until it happens.
Still I'm lamenting because I cannot comprehend how I got to be so busy with so little recognition and practically no gain. Not that I'm actually desperate for fame (hey, you're talking to an infamous guy here), but sometimes I wonder why these things just stick to me. I'm currently working as a free guy for the uniform stuff for band (which is one major contribution to my chance of not living beyond 30) because officially, I am not the uniform officer. Nope, you see me flitting around the uniform room, you blame me for uniform stuff, but if you do have the free time to ask, I don't hold a post. Firstly, there has never been a sec. 2 in the EXCO because... it's unprecedented. I don't plan to break that tradition. Of course, assistant posts are hardly considered as a place in the EXCO, but Uniforms officers have so much things to do that they don't have assistants. They simply have two. And if I do have the courage to say, I believe the things I do exceed that of the other.
I'm not trying to blow this matter up, but I feel a twinge of unjust whenever Liu Zhen calls me to work. He recognizes me as the uniform officer when things need to be done. Otherwise, I'm practically barred from EXCO meetings. Seriously, I've tried to participate, but people just tell me to go home.
Of course, on hindsight I laugh a lot a this matter, simply because the things they discuss at EXCO meetings are insipid and always, I repeat, always result in either groupthink or heated arguments with majors using bad sarcasm on people who don't turn up for school practice but run off to other bands instead. Thus, EXCO meetings are perennially counterproductive.
That's precisely the reason why I've given up a lot on the band. At first I actually felt guilty over it, because of the promise I had with Jiehan that I would restore the band back to its former glory. I would reshape a band that the seniors would be proud of. I would, I would, I would.
Then I found out about how passion can be so easily crushed by other commitments and a constant drag. I found out that band to me was a practice to be sometimes looked forward to, sometimes loathed. And how politics once again destroyed my dreams and hopes for the band.
And when Jiehan told me to relax and take life easy, I almost breathed a sigh of relief.
Maybe that's a message I want to send out to the leaders- or future leaders. I am not happy in band.
Please have the common decency to at least take it as a professional insult.
signed, jiasheng
If there's something worrying me right now, it's my attention span.
What? What? Rotational degree? Is that another scheme of Artemis's?
Basically, I'm stuck to the Artemis Fowl series like Gideon's hand is to his groin. Seriously. It's disgustingly fascinating.
I'm practically using hyperfocus to read Artemis Fowl. Not that I don't do that for every interesting book that I read, but it's getting- I'm afraid to say- out of hand. I'll glue my eyeballs to the fantastic adventures involving courageous Holly Short and stoic-but-friendly Butler and criminally-inclined Mulch Diggums (I can never spell his name) and of course, the brilliant teenage prodigy, Arty.
It has got to the point that I disregard anything (just today, the list: Chinese test revision resulting in 4 marks gone, English lesson's attention span, Maths remedial [more on that later] and to a small extent, 3rd Language)
I would have read it during History if not for Alvin Tan standing beside my desk half the time. In fact I was fingering the hidden cover page under my desk during Malay and History nervously, wondering in panic if Holly and Artemis would escapes the trolls underground in the earth's mantle. All the while tapping my foot impatiently (albeit silently) sitting in a Singaporean classroom and reading on Hitler's totalitarian state.
I spent the recess breathing in relief for they escaped, but closed the book with the promise of an imminent mission for the next half of the book and a sudden realization that I have a Chinese test and it's coming in, held curtly by Coffin Orange.
To be truthful, it was rather easy and I spent the time I had left (30 minutes) to imagine what Artemis Fowl - The Opal Deception had in store with me with the rest of the 300 odd pages.
And when I realized there was Maths remedial in store for me, I scooted off. (I failed my Maths test, by the way. Nothing surprising, so I didn't mention it.)
This is a serious addiction. I must get rid of it.
Well, not before reading Artemis Fowl- The Lost Colony first.
signed, jiasheng
Alright! Since Jiasheng had met with the ultimate obstacle (a writer's block. Or how I like it: a blogger's block.) after spending all his creative juices (gosh it sounds wrong) on his English term test (comprising of a really obvious self-promoting question involving students from Hwa Chong Institution catching a snatch-thief who, erms, snatched a little girl's mobile phone. Which brings us to the point of why the school is so darn proud of its 5 nurtured gentlemen who called the police after some petty thief snatched some lass's handphone. And why the thief is so cheap to snatch a little girl's cell phone. Karma, karma. Watch out thief.) and writing a-sure-to-be-controversial-
essay-involving-an-atheist-detective-catching-a-mafia-drug-dealer-whose-alter-ego-is-Father-
Jones-a-priest.
Yes. Another one of Jiasheng's elaborate plots. And his desperate attempts to squeeze a thriller into a 450-word narrative essay.
Hmmmm. Didn't he say he had a writer's block? Well. Alright. I give up. I actually can elaborate quite a bit on the term test today but I just have to find an excuse to find some blogspace for someone I've been thinking for a longlonglong time and had stopped thinking about but recently I've settled on my nerves and therefore can finally can consider this situation with a clear head and subdued emotions.
Yep: I'm blogging about Luther!
Actually, I'm in a curious situation here.Whenever I mention him, I'll be in a state of:
1) Puzzlement (90%)
2) Resentment (5%)
3) Grief (3%)
4) Anger (2%)
Wow. Psychology in statistics.
But seriously, I'm always confused when I see him. I really have no idea why he seems to hate me that much. To the extent of ignoring my every move and word that it's wounding. And thus the resentment.
I don't know. I try my best not to lament and not to laugh out bitterly when his nice juniors tell me, "Luther is such a nice guy," or "Luther shao is my favourite senior," but I just can't shake the feeling. Luther hates me to the core. And I don't know why.
Well, perhaps it's not hatred. Just a tendency to avoidance. And as I like to quote from Dumbledore a lot, being coldly distant tend to do more damage than outright loathing.
It's lucky that now I'm in a comparatively upbeat mood- or else I know that I'll be pondering off to emoness again.
I reviewed our old conversations on MSN, and I realized there was a time that he didn't seem to hate me that much. He even told me jiayou, gosh! I would have never remembered this if I've not checked the archives. It just seems so impossible for him to even speak with me without an official reason. Every time I speak to him it's either about uniforms or band practice schedules or some weird band stuff. And I've given up on trying to be friendly. After all, it's just emoing on my part and jeering me to his friends on his part.
I found that my brother had borrowed a book, Artemis Fowl- The Eternity Code. Usually I'm no fan, but I suddenly recall some far-off memory, basically one pertaining to an MSN conversation with Luther with him commenting that I somehow remind him of Artemis Fowl.
(Of course, then I did a quick search and figured that he was referring to me having Asperger's Syndrome or something) but still I grabbed the book and read.
I like Artemis Fowl. And that's great, because usually I hate the people who I think resembles me. Yeah. I'm no Fowl, but I know why Luther gets the feeling.
Well, no bother trying to explain. He probably has a different perception now.
But I'm also confused over how I should treat him. Speaking on a general basis, a guy who does that to me would find himself getting hell. I'm an extremely nasty guy as some would attest. But he's my band major, for anyone's sake. Why should I hate him and exhaust myself?
I'm too tired to do this kind of childish act, I realize. I just want to be friends.
That simple? Yeah. I just want him not to stiffen whenever I step into his radius. Then walk away.
Hell, I'm not a freaking same pole. You're not that repulsive.
And I shouldn't be too.
signed, jiasheng
Yesterday was quite a day.
I noticed Edwin's new wallet and somehow, just somehow I couldn't stop laughing and make dumb choking noises. It's seriously retarded but it's just so damn funny. Never mind. It's an insider's joke.
Anyway, I was checking my two weeks' worth of EMB messages (yeah I'm your procrastinating kind of guy, remember?) when I realized there was this ominous message saying: Projects' Day Result.
And thus as I clicked the link, terrified and trembly, praying to whatever I'm praying to, muttering, "DO NOT LET US GO INTO FINALS" when I saw this curious and subtly horrifying word beside our group:
"FINALS."
Suddenly, I'm feeling very mixed feelings. Firstly, I'm guilty for doing this to the others because I really don't wish to get into the finals because it will just drag me down. Secondly feeling weird because I'm wishing to avoid the thing that people are begging to have. And thirdly sorry for the pathetic judges who just sent anyone into the finals.
Well. Guess have to work again.
You know your poverty state has reached a certain stage when something drastic happens.
When you've searched all over the place for writing paper and you can't find a single sheet of writing pad paper.
It's ridiculous. I'm resorting to typing out my history essay now. Hmmmm. Let's have fun with Alvin Tan and Webdings.
Back to work.
signed, jiasheng
Yesterday was a total wasted day.
I woke up at 11 plus (so yes, qifann gets his wish granted) and then headed for school to find some JC people and the sec4 saxophonists going for lunch. And spray paint all over the grass and tiles. It seems like they're doing some artwork and as the daoish seniors they are, they left poor Jiasheng to go eat lunch..
Optimistically speaking, I did something of use. I composed a practice piece for me on the bells. It's going to my (non-existent) collection of piano practice pieces. I'm going to call it "Jiasheng's 3rds Sonata Symphony No. 126".
In case you're wondering, it's practice for 3rds on the piano. Basically I was staring at the bells in utter loneliness and misery when ah-ha! (misery loves inspiration) something struck me. I started playing that idiotic Luther's 3rds on C major and on the third set I do a glissando and blahblahblah.
So once I have a moment with a piano I'm going to figure out chords for it. Probably harmonic thirds? Ha.
Then after that senseless playing I skipped to home where I ums SLEPT for an hour or so (guiltlessly) when I woke up with a callfrom Zhengyu randomly asking me to go to Choa Chu Kang (I went there during one of my library sprees last year) and it was about 4. He asked me to go watched HP5 and it was at 5. So by the time I shower it's 4.15. And Zhengyu was saying to me when I smsed him using my batt-flat handphone "You have 35minutes.... can reach in time." By that time I wanted to strangle him because obviously he overlooked that I live in Toa Payoh and he live in Woodlands. So I have about 30 minutes more to travel. I was cursing and swearing inwardly to my now-dead-phone and thus. Never mind.
I reached 15 minutes late and saw Da Xian. Now I remembered Zhengyu saying Da Xian has another appointment and therefore I'm filling his place so I'm puzzled but I was in the spur of getting there so as I rushed up the elevator he said something like:
"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."
SO. Nah. He told me that Liang Jun just went in.
So I pondered for 5 minutes before deciding to go join Da Xian. But he already apparated. So too bad.
Then I wandered around for a moment before going to school to see whether I'll meet anyone (actually just went there to look for Da Xian x|) But then I met the JC Euphonium player whom I know not his name (Da Xian later told me it was... erms.. it was... oh freak.. ok I checked Wei Guo! aka Paul Frank.)
Anyway then he and his companion climbed over the school gates and went off in bus 66. Yeah. Anti-climatic eh.
When I reached home I talked to Da Xian and Qifann and asked some TXYs for their comments for FriWeekly. Then I called Jeremy for the interview and talked lots of crap and and fell asleep right after that because he has such a, hypnotic voice.
So there ends my day.
signed, jiasheng
Yesterday was crap.
I mean total, insane, disgustingly freakingly weird and gross.
Nah it wasn't that bad. I was just random. But it was bad enough.
It started off with me waking up half-an-hour late (staring at the cheesecake makes one woozy) and then hurriedly prepared the "cake" (because it looks. totally unappetizing).
So anyway, went to band late. Then found that the band room's lights are off. It's not that bad, because it gives some sort of ghostly ambiance to the whole place, but still fumbling for your file and instrument in the gloom doesn't make it easy to start a day well.
Then first period was Chinese. And he practically dumped work on me. 3 big projects to my weekend workload:
1)Chinese Current Affairs Research Paper (supposedly to be done in half a year, now concentrated to 2 days)
2)Stupid San Guo Yan Yi question-fabricating (supposedly to be done in the June Hol's)
3)Chinese Drama Competition Script (I have no idea, no inspiration and no intention to ask any of the drama presidents I know.)
So. Jiasheng is to be deemed. DEAD.
Like he isn't already.
On a more depressed (I was already depressed before mentioning this) note, band practice was duly cancelled because we had this stupid Harmony Cup which no one went.
So we just hung around in the band room and had mini concerts. We played Jap Graf X, Titanic Medley, Merry Widow, Pirates... then I found out this amazing thing that Bo Jun and Bo Xiang actually can remember every single score that they've played. It's like totally astonishing. Well maybe I'm the only one who doesn't memorize scores, but it still shocks me reeling. I can practically name any song and they can play it.
I've decided I'm going to be like them. Or else I'll always be stuck to my file.
Then I was feeling very tired and depressed because I had a deadline last night at 2359 and I just wanted to drag it (typical escapist). So I asked Qifann to take me to someplace for an hour so I don't have to remember about anything else.
He proposed that we go to Plaza Sing.. Not that I actually like the place, because it trigger very bad memories. But I guess it was still okay. We went around and we both realized we're very poor souls... because Qifann is left with 5 cents in his pocket while I have about 10 times: 50 cents.
So the two of us went to McDonald's.
I got us some fries and an EXTRAsmall coke. It's like super mini and cute and cheap (a buck) but somehow it got overfilled and it looked kind of sick with coke oozing out of the straw hole.
Nonetheless, after that we went to Yamaha and looked at the instruments. Plenty of interesting thing like cheap batons (I thought they were at least 100 something, but there was ones which cost within 10 bucks)
Then Qifann looked at the reeds while I took a glance at the mouthpieces which initiated this conversation with one of the salesmen there. Apparently he plays the trombone in Singapore Wind Orchestra and I asked him some questions about my mouthpiece because I'm using a Vincent Bach 1 1/2 G and it's super big. It saps alot of my breath and my high notes are not easy to reach. So it's rather torturous. And I can't switch back to my Yamaha that quickly, because my Yamaha mouthpiece (currently held by Zhitao) is size 48, which is about 5 G for me. Just a quick summary:
Currently using : Vincent Bach 1 1/2 G (Yamaha: 59; Dennis Wick:2AL)
Recommended to use by Ah Leng: Dennis Wick 3AL
Recommended to use by Salesman: Dennis Wick 4AL
But actually I'm just asking for fun because I guess I'm pretty much stuck with the mouthpiece. And it does train my breathing and volume so I guess it isn' t that bad after all.
Then Qifann and I played a bit on the piano the Avril intro of When You're Gone but somehow we still can't figure out the last part. Oh wells.
Then I taught him on major and minor chords and keys xD
Yep it was fun at the end.
So there, it ends my day. As in my happy day. The rest of the day (night) I was rushing to meet my deadline.
Work!
signed, jiasheng
Yesterday was crap.
I mean total, insane, disgustingly freakingly weird and gross.
Nah it wasn't that bad. I was just random. But it was bad enough.
It started off with me waking up half-an-hour late (staring at the cheesecake makes one woozy) and then hurriedly prepared the "cake" (because it looks. totally unappetizing).
So anyway, went to band late. Then found that the band room's lights are off. It's not that bad, because it gives some sort of ghostly ambiance to the whole place, but still fumbling for your file and instrument in the gloom doesn't make it easy to start a day well.
Then first period was Chinese. And he practically dumped work on me. 3 big projects to my weekend workload:
1)Chinese Current Affairs Research Paper (supposedly to be done in half a year, now concentrated to 2 days)
2)Stupid San Guo Yan Yi question-fabricating (supposedly to be done in the June Hol's)
3)Chinese Drama Competition Script (I have no idea, no inspiration and no intention to ask any of the drama presidents I know.)
So. Jiasheng is to be deemed. DEAD.
Like he isn't already.
On a more depressed (I was already depressed before mentioning this) note, band practice was duly cancelled because we had this stupid Harmony Cup which no one went.
So we just hung around in the band room and had mini concerts.
signed, jiasheng
Nowadays I'm very confused.
It's just this sudden rush of activities had made me disoriented from my goals. Suddenly, the idea of being a busy lawyer doesn't seem that attractive anymore.
I hate my life being so packed and tiring and dumb. I can't stand working. Seriously.
So I'm just stuck at crossroads again. Where to go? Which way to take?
I just have so many places to pick but I deny each and every one of them. I'm such a fickle person. It's such a blur that my life have completely lapsed into auto-mode, when activities push it along in a trudge, without a direction and aimlessly.
On a brighter note, I feel very energetic today because it's Edwin's birthday tomorrow! (Well technically today.) Somehow I'm just motivated to make it memorable for him. And yes, the extraordinary thing I'm going to do for him is that I baked a cheesecake! It's in the fridge cooling now... And let me just do some accounting:
Ingredients: Caster Sugar(x2), Corn Flour(x2), Cream of Tartar, Lemon(x2), Cream Cheese(x2)
Total Price: $17.75
Time Spent On It: 1 hour on preparation, 2 on actually doing the works
The look on my face when he told me via sms that he don't eat cheese because it's smelly - no I don't call it priceless, I call it Edwin-you're-so-gonna-get-cheesecake-all-over-your-face-today.
Oh wells. I don't care. I'm just going to throw it to him and stuff his mouth with it. Ha!
I don't really understand why I'm doing so much for some small cause. Maybe it's really what I've been telling everyone: "I'm just sucking up to the future majors, lah!"
Well it's one way to stop people from associating me with Teezhuo. Brrr.
Ah whatever, I shall be nice and give him a choice. If he hates it I'm gonna share it with Qifann and Zhengyu. So there!
Happy Birthday, Edwin.
signed, jiasheng
One thing I can't believe? I skipped school today.
I'm going to die tomorrow, I swear. Because I have a tonne of important stuff to do in school today and I'm so screwed.
Firstly the Japan presentation- if they did it today, I'm not that worried that they will mess it up but they WILL miss very important points that only I have knowledge on.
Then I'm worried about the Chem pop quiz that she's going to give every Wed.
Then I'm worried about the report I'm supposed to submit today.
Then I'm frustrated about Pday (even though it's over) because people obviously think I'm a leecher and I can't really disagree.
But I shall wait the miracle and hope we fail the semi-finals because seeing the standard of SL projects, I have this dreading fear that we actually can go into finals. When we did nothing. No, when I did nothing.
Basically I'm just this real screwed-up guy because I've happily over-committed myself and now I'm tragically thrashing under the whole senseless burden of it all.
Well, I probably have to salute to all the others who took all my 'slackiness' (I feel compelled and self-righteous to put quotations marks because I am so not slack) with and without complaints.
And the terrible, halting-space-and-time-continuum, tearing-the-fabric-of-reality truth? IT'S GONNA CONTINUE.
Y'know, actually dying seems like a much better option now.
By the way, if you're going to ask why I skipped school today, it's because:
We-had-this-whole-day-performance-
cum-exchange-with-Perth-College-Girls'-Band
-yesterday-and-it-ended-uber-late-and-
I-reached-home-at-eleven-thirty-because-I-can't-
be-the-sixth-seater-in-Ah-Leng's-4-seater-
car-and-so-I-couldn't-wake-up-because-I-had-
about-8-hours-of-sleep-in-48-hours-including-
5-hours-of-non-stop-runnning-and-organizing-
the-pesky-backstage-crew-and-I-screwed-up-
my-a2-and-one-player-and-melodies-during
-the-concert-and-there's-no-way-no-way-I-
tell-you-that-I'm-gonna-go-to-school-on-we
-and-kick-stupid-bottles-during-wushu-during-pe-class.
Whew. Try saying that in one breath. (And y'know, the funny thing is that people actually do.)
Well. I have to get back to work. Seriously. If I don't wanna get screwed senseless by the editor.
o.o It sounds wrong but never mind.
God save us all. But more importantly save me if you(Am I suppose to cap this?) exist. Thanks a
lot.
signed, jiasheng
