This post has been screened for reputation's sake. Not necessarily mine.

I'm fifteen, and I need to make my IC, after watching people get theirs done and lamenting why I'm born that late.

I just woke up and felt amazingly, incredibly good. But that was because I felt intensely horrible last night. I mean, everything was fine, I loved most of the day, but Zheng Yu drugged me with a Venti Americano and my caffeine intolerance made me feel like hell. It was like, I'm super tired, but thousands of caffeine particles were rushing though my brain and channelling through my veins and I was breathing out coffee breath. 

So I was so relieved that I fell asleep at all.

(btw, it wasn't Zheng Yu's fault. We were at Starbucks studying and I conveniently forgot how I should never ever drink coffee because I get nauseous and sick. Americano is like... 100% unadulterated caffeine. I thought it was like frap when I ordered it.)

So anyway, the day started out okay. Until something happened to me, which is not mentionable.

Then I received other unmentionables from my friends, which I have to thank them for their concern for my lack of garments.

Thank goodness I can still depend on Zhenyang for a normal present.

The day went okay. I had fun talking rubbish with Zheng Yu after school and studying at Woodlands Starbucks.

***

I rather enjoy this birthday. It's not lavish, it's not elaborate. It's... ordinary. And I enjoy this ordinariness of it.

I didn't think of really extreme things. Some thoughts flashed across, but I just brushed them off softly. Perhaps they don't matter so much now.

What I had was this feeling that things might be worse, or they might be better. But they'll still go on. And I'll be able to face whatever's coming.

I thank all the people who've wished me a happy birthday, because I did - it was a subtle happiness. And please, do know that all of you contribute towards this.

Many things have happened since my last birthday, and some of those things have made me feel vulnerable. But I feel like I've been refreshed with a - no, not strength, but more of a  - gentle tug towards whatever's coming my way. There is a familiarity and kindness in this confidence. It's like a quiet voice, barely within hearing range, just beside me all the time.

So there. I'll go through another year, and see what goes.