Strangely that once you take on a seemingly pessimistic view on life, your life improves.

I've decided. It's so hard to expect things from other people. Why do so then? 

Why do we expect friends to know us inside out, and them to lift us up when we're down, warm us when it's cold, and for them to be telepathic?

Why do we expect everyone to make our lives better, because we deserve such treatment, or because we're simply us?

To be realistic, everything boils down to this: it was never about you. Or me. We live in such convenient lies, that everyone owes us a living, and we expect to feel wonderful every day. 

It's not true.

I've almost forgotten it's a constant struggle. It's easy to forget amidst easy company. We laugh, and the lead-lined troubles are gone.

Why did I let myself forget?

You can hope that your friends will help, or ask about you, or make you feel better. We're all priviledged to hope. But pray you, good people, don't ever, ever expect concrete things. Because whatever illusions you construct can never be too stable for actualization.

I shan't be needy. It pains me, but I won't expect anymore.