blog/enigma

Monday, May 19, 2008

6:17 PM

Strange things are happening on MSN recently.

One is that Edwin managed to piss me off so much that I've taken to daoing all his smses and MSN convos (not that he smses/MSNs me frequently). In fact, I'm daoing his MSN window like right now. It's taking all my restraining power to not start to bombard him with flames and stuff.

It all started innocently enough with a Edwin-popup thing. He always does this to me. He'll go, "Jiasheng." on the first sentence that makes me think that I did something wrong, then proceed to ask me for a favour, like opening the SALT band hall or some other saikang stuff. As usual I'll submit and just do. I don't know why.

Well so it was like that. He just popped up as an orange bar, proclaiming that L.Siao is on 933 (yes, prone to random stuff too) and so I wasn't really in the random mood so I just sorta "yeah, okay" him.

Then I started saying he's shitman. (Ah, now the randomness comes.)

Then we started bickering for a while. And one thing about bitching with Edwin is that he simply isn't bitchy enough, so he'll end up saying, "Fag" or some other slur that suggests I'm not joking at all and I really want to have sex with him. Oh please.

Then I just got all sorts of irritated and pissed, for some reason, because he's not being funny/cordial/friendly and it sounds to me like he's just looking for someone who sympathizes, but I'm really not in the mood. Either that or he's being emo and is looking for a softie he can bully.

Okay I know it's really unfair of me saying all these because I kinda started it with the shitman thing but never mind.

The thing that really got me pissed was that he was ranting about how he's telling various people about his problems, in my face, as if "oh jiasheng, you're just not good enough to listen to my troubles." Okay, fine, I'm not, but could you not tell me that? I don't need to know. So I just got really pissed off and I went off to complain to Da Xian, who was all confused like how Da Xian is, so you know what he did? HE GOES OFF TO TELL EDWIN.

I got so freaking worked up I just daoed both of them.

The thing is, it's never about censorship with me, regarding Edwin at least. I say what I want, because I think I've known Edwin for years and years and I can afford to be honest with him. I throw insults easily at him, not caring he's DM, because (a) I don't give a damn about status and (b) I think Edwin would know me enough to know that I don't mean anything serious.

(Actually, now that I think of it, not so long. P5,6, sec 1 he was in HCI I was in PCPS, sec 2-4; so that's 5 years. And I don't remember him being kind when I wasn't too popular in the band.)

Hmmm. So it got me thinking, that I don't really know Edwin. Not as much as I claim.

But that's fine. Really. Be yourself. I'll just continue to joke about his skin tone, call him shitman, whatever. He can continue to tell his confidants his problems, and I won't ever get jealous.

It's fine. He's just a senior, and seniors come and go. I'll acknowledge his contributions, know that he's a good man (but most certainly a bad boy, haha), and sooner or later, he'll become a sort of friend that I don't really know well, despite the length of time I know him. Not really a tragedy, just a little pity.

***

Sean is an absolute LUDDITE.

He was comforting me because my MSN nick read jiasheng coruscation//is entitled to feeling lousy, emo, bitchy and horrible....

... A MONTH AGO.

Seriously. That is how often he logs on.

And we're using offline messages to communicate, since he's never online. Oh when he's online, one of those rare cosmic event horizons, I'm not. So. If I don't see him in school, I would have forgotten he exists.

***

Speaking of offline messages, I was typing offline messages to a certain someone the whole night.

And that certain someone replied when I was asleep.

And now that certain someone is sick. Get well soon.

(By that, I also mean: STOP FALLING ASLEEP AND MAKE ME WAIT FOR YOUR 4-HOURLY SMSES.)

***
//EDITS: suddenly have more things to say.

Ya suddenly there's this rainbow thing on msn. Someone just pasted this into my conver window:

hey all!pls put a (rainbow picture) in front of your msn nick so that msn will donate money to the sichuan earthquake.* Thanks&pls pass on the msg

So I was like, I don't believe it, but let's just put it anyway. (*why does Si Chuan earthquake need money?! GRAMMAR!)

It turned out to be damn stupid. I have this gay rainbow in front of my nick. So when Zhengyu asked me what was it about I told him:

apparently msn is going to donate when i put it on my nick.

Then I looked at my message. Then I looked at the gay rainbow.

Disgusted, I took it off.

***

I have an obscenely short haircut now, and I totally attribute it to karma, that is, my mean gay slurs to Samuel.

Sobs.

signed, jiasheng

19th Sept
hci
band/euphonium
doodler
blogger

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