blog/enigma

Saturday, October 06, 2007

8:23 PM

After thinking through, I've reached an extremely serious conclusion. It is with much contemplation that I present my no-nonsense theory, about to be proved by scores of interested scientists and one day it'll be taught to university students (it'll be one of the major subjects).

Drumroll and exciting music please.

"Bananas are evil."

Now, what do we mean by evil? Evilness is defined by the amount of bananaism an object possess. And what is bananaism, you may ask. Worry not, for I shall answer your question. Bananaism is a subculture in the late Victorian era, near the industrial revolution, when Christina Rossetti wrote Uphill to encourage more people to abstain from bananas because it is evil and thus eating it will isolate oneself from the ultimate resting place and beds for all who seek, the boat-shaped island. And on that little island there are trees which fruit and flower grew on together, as well as dead parachutists hanging around scaring little kids. Of course, the little kids ending up killing each other because they're emo and have nothing better to do, well, except fornication. But since Golding has inconveniently barred girls, we shall just bring in Hitler's lovers into this quadratic equation. Oh wait, those lovers are still guys. Never mind. Let's talk about natural vegetation, where the leaves in tropical rainforests has broad leaves and waxy drip tips to allow more water to run off into the Seletar, MacRitchie and Pierce Reservoirs, which form the Central Catchment Area where the Bukit Timah Nature Reserve is, which is 164 ha. Which is pretty ridiculous because we all know there are wild pigs there for Jack and Ralph to kill after Simon did his batty stuff by calculating the angle of elevation from the ground to the coconut tree so they could build a catapult to launch themselves to the next nearest island, and do so again on that island, so theoretically it is possible for them to hop back to Britain. Which is exactly what the Americans did in the Pacific Ocean- island-hopping and gaining control of each island one by one. Not that they used coconut trees anyway. I'm sure the British lent them the battleships which caused the WWI in the first place, HMS Dreadnoughts. But using those ships might have caused an uproar in Singapore, because the waves caused by ships might erode our shorelines. But fear not, for there is a granite wall to protect us.

Whee. The world is tetra coruscus.

signed, jiasheng

19th Sept
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