blog/enigma

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

3:39 PM

I swear, I'm never going to get a present for anyone ever again.
The search for Luther's took me from all the tinsel and lights at Orchard to cigarette-smoked Bugis Street where still I ended up with nothing, after a weekend of searching.
Seriously, buying gifts is such a stupid event. I always thought gifts were meant to be practical, like the toaster in weddings and a book for the bibliophile, but clearly I was wrong. At first I considered buying a mouthpiece at Yamaha (don't even mention it now; obviously my spendthrift instincts kicked in) then decided on a warm-up exercises book (which I dropped the decision, recalling how that guy don't have to refer to warm-up books. He does his own.)
On a totally unrelated note, I now have an addition to my wishlist - the nearly 9-grand euphonium on display at YMH. Christmas, birthday, Hanukkah, whichever festival you give presents, there's your clue.
I met Wei Xin (Fine, I forgot his name when I saw him - I merely recognize his face - and I checked later on the list. There - slay me for my ignorance) yesterday after one last ditch (albeit failed) attempt to salvage a gift for L when he came to me at the station and said 'Hi!' quite enthusiastically. I think he's always that happy-looking. Just that I didn't really notice.
After a conversation with him, including an update on how's HCIB, I realize I missed a lot of nice people last year. I'm kind of regretting last year.
I've been busy chasing after those people who wouldn't give a sock for me, yet I didn't see all those nicer people who, frankly speaking, are actually great people. That's how I ended up seeing a senior at an MRT station and trying to remember his name, while joining in his guffaws and relating how the band is.
I was too self-absorbed. Everything was about me, but not others. I knew I was selfish, but that incident brought me into thinking, and consequently into a shocking epiphany. Like most people, I'm too concentrated on the tiny things and insignificant people in life. Meanwhile, I largely ignored those people who truly matter.
Maybe I was too wrapped in that 'Jiasheng the negative antisocial junior' label that I thought everyone had given me, and thus acted that way. But sometimes I wonder - why am I acting to their whims? Aren't I always stressing the importance of individuality? Clearly not everyone thought I was negative and antisocial - Wei Xin didn't, at least. He could have passed by me without saying a word (I admit, I would have done that) but he chose to say hi and be ... himself.
That's important. Being yourself. The problem is that I don't have an identity I can stick with. I'm like one of those dandelions, taking to whatever wind that gusts up. Sure, you say, oh please. Jiasheng is one of the most attituded person I've ever met. How can he be fickle-charactered?
The creature which will survive is not the strongest, nor the smartest, but the most reactive.
When one reacts to the situation, he/she loses that unique quality of being. An adaptive creature constantly have to change and adapt - is there still a constant personality?
I don't know. This stuff's pretty deep, even for me.
On a lighter note, guess who gagged today when he saw L's presents.
Yeah, me. I mean, it's totally irrational. Why on earth would anyone buy some fluffy toy or gigantic garfield (or whatever huge-sized kid merchandise) which, besides for collecting dust, have no practical purpose.
But oh sure. I guess it feels pretty good to get this sort of present for L. Well. In a way I did get L's present. I promised to practise harder for SYF (which was what he wanted me to do, instead of a trumpet mouthpiece when I asked him on MSN).
Oh well. I'm not joining their fun club anytime soon. (I wonder if anyone bonded him. If that's possible.)
Anyway. I got caught in the Princess Diaries Craze. Before you say anything nasty, like I regrettably did when I poked fun at Zhengyu, let me tell you that it is extremely entertaining. Granted, for those people who frequently peruse these kinds of teen novels, it might be so-so, but for a person who spends his time reading the subject-verb agreement on Wikipedia, it is a delightful break.
I only have one problem, which is : The cover of the book is pink.
OF course, I'm no colour sexist, but isn't it a tad too inappropriate? I mean, for girls it's alright, but guys who enjoy Mia's adventures as Princess of Genovia, you can't exactly read it without considerable amount of harassment and teasing (An RI guy scowled straight in my face on my way home, "What kind of book is THAT?")
But still. I get some praise for my bravery (HCI guy told him that it's a nice book).
I'm starting to like my school for a change.
Oh, just to sum this random post up, I bought 2 pairs of new shoes today. I think I'll trust my vain instincts and wear that adidas pair. The other one is some german brand which I think is quite cool (seeing it doesn't have laces OR velcro, making my life cycling considerably easier).
The only catch is that me and my mum had to lie about the price of the shoes. My father caught the big bad stingy dad syndrome.
Whatever. I'll post something substantial up. Gotta do maths now.
Ciao.

signed, jiasheng

19th Sept
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