blog/enigma

Thursday, February 15, 2007

4:13 AM

I feel retarded.
Ohkay, I think I owe you people, and certain people an explanation.
I shall remember this date, 14/2/2007. It goes:
It was a pretty hectic, normal Wednesday with the timetable chock full of subjects (in fact all academic subjects except Geography) and there was another dreaded swimming lesson. After that, Tee Zhuo and I went to the band room and we found Zhengyu there. I'm not going to question if he played truancy or whatsoever, but he better come up with an explanation just in case I turn my back on him someday.
(Why am I so negative?)
Anyway, I got 17/40 for my first maths test. Mrs. Khoo said it was 'less-than-desirable' results. I have several questions for her:
1) Why can't you use the proper term which eliminates the quotation marks and dashes? 'undesirable' sounds so much nicer.
2) How do you define 'less-than-desirable'? According to me, this result is desirable. I've always thought that if I even scored one mark for the test, I would be ecstatic.
3) Why do you need to read a reflection writeup? It will probably make you feel as nauseous as I do when I see algebra.
I'll post the reflection up when she returns it to me. Maybe she'll be so mad after reading it that she'll show it to the dean of studies (I HAVE NO IDEA WHO) who will spank me and I'll sue her and another HC scandal!
(Why am I so negative?)
The rest of the day passed uneventfully, until band practice.
I decided not to be so daoish and therefore, resolved to be more cheery. Unfortunately, my idea of cheery is 'overtly optimistic that I look like a lunatic clown' so those people coming early for sectionals will see Jiasheng changing his mode of transport from walking to hopping, jumping and skipping. Another misfortune is how there were only quite daoish people. Except Derrick. He was being very talkative today, contrastingly. I think my efforts to talk to him in early attempts paid off. Yay! Another friend! I'm happyyyy.... and loony.
So the rest of sectionals was spent with Jiunn Lin, who complained it was super hot in the library room without air-conditioning. So we were taking 2-minute breaks every fifteen minutes to pop into the main band room. Which is like, totally ridiculous.
Oh, did I mention Liang Jun anywhere? No? Oh, ohkay. After trying to break through that iron wall, I think he's real cute. As in innocent, naive and childish cute. When you ask him questions, I swear him and Da Xian is related - he doesn't give absolute answers. He'll just say 'Maybe', 'Perhaps', 'Whatever you think' or something like that. Then when he doesn't know or don't wish to express his opinions, he'll just give a cute shrug. When I told him that I think he's cute, he was like hiding his face behind his hands, still holding the drumsticks.
Oh myyy. So cute.
(Ohkay, now I don't sound negative, I sound gay.)
Anyway, then I was skipping about as usual then I just felt so tired. Exhausted tired.
So I was like leaning on Jie Xuan, trying to get some rest when Tee Zhuo swung the door open. And then he began ranted on how he has the impression that Jie Xuan and I were having gay sex because we look so physically worn-out. I smirked and informed him curtly that I still have that last ounce of energy to strangle someone and if he wanted one, just stick that tender neck closer to my hand.
Then I napped on my bag awhile, feeling strangely cold. Even though I'm in a(in LZ's words) ' hot room' (namely the instrument's store). But I just needed a break, I think.
Then Tee Zhuo and Liu Zhen came in and began to fuss over me thinking I'm sick. I have the same feeling, but nonetheless, I decided to be the stubborn patient (like the obstinate person I am) and be non-cooperative.
Still, Liu Zhen was being super nice. More than that. He sacrificed his jacket and kept asking me how I was and tutting. A major can yell commands at you, arrange blocks, answer your questions, but one who really show concern for you when you're sick (especially when he could have revenge and leave me there to rot) must really care for the band. I think.
Then I was being a nasty patient and later, when we were walking to the bus stop, I suddenly remembered something and turned back, leaving Zhengyu and Liu Zhen following me. I decided then to be horrible and get them off my back but typing on my phone (my throat was too sore to speak) that 'if you two keep stalking me (LZ gasped at this point) then I'll use my last ounce of energy to run.'
Zhengyu feared that I might collapse afterwards (I postulate I really will if I did ran) so they went off grudgingly.
I wanted to apologize and explain, but later LZ's message completely horrified me. He said something about I don't have to worry since he's not going to be so nice next time.
Now I really really regret certain things.
But anyway, after an sms and two calls which he didn't pick up, I think I'll tell him tomorrow. I still owe him an explanation.

signed, jiasheng

19th Sept
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