blog/enigma

Friday, December 08, 2006

10:23 PM

I realize nowadays that I'm being incredibly random.
Not that I want to, but it happens. Ultimately, it makes me suspect if I have attention deficit disorder.
You can't talk to me without wondering I am talking about and 'huh-ing' a few times.
I'll be lucky if I can understand myself these days.
By the way, do you know polar rainbows are completely white?
I TOLD YOU.
For example:
On Thursday (namely yesterday) Wei Yang mentioned (it was one of those short, 'oh-by-the-way' mentions, nothing else to suggest otherwise) to me that he's going to Hong Kong tomorrow while I was loafing around the band room waiting for Ah Lim (or if you must, Lippy) to lock the door.
I thought for a moment, wondering why on earth would he tell me that. Then my mind wandered to all the dramas and soap operas I've spent too much time on instead of doing my algebra homework and did I mention to you how mathematics is considered one of the greater mortal sins mankind ever committed?
Remind me to get back on track.
Back to the point, I pondered, and asked him, "So what reaction do you expect out of me?"
Secretly I thought, "Why, a mental breakdown and a plea for him not to go?"
He seemed stunned for a brief pause, and replied, "Oh nothing. I don't expect any reply from you."
"Then why are you telling me this?"
-self-questioning why it seems like a scene cut straight out from Desperate Housewives-
Anyway, Yikun and him and me launched into this conversation about how Weiyang had told Yikun and he doesn't remember and Weiyang had to remind him. Then I concluded that YIkun was too busy thinking about Nancy Tay (While thinking about things related to position of trust and authority and age of consent and underage sex, all legal terms) and Weiyang is unimportant and irrelevant (or was it something else?) and contemplating what should I do tomorrow.
Then when I got home my mind buzzed around on the idea that I should head for the bookshop and buy Sophie's World and read it and something else for Weiyang to read on the plane so he wouldn't get bored.
Which I realized was pretty ridiculous so bedtime followed right after dinner.
By the way, Weiyang asked me if I've read Sophie's World (I've heard of it, but no, I've not read it)
And this morning, when I woke up, and realized it was 9 plus in the morning, I quickly texted Weiyang to see if he's gone. My exact words, if memory serves:
1) Are you gone yet? (Yes, I know, complete lack of substance)
I can't really remember the second part but the "I'll miss you" part stuck to my brain like bubble gum chewed too many times and fortified with oral liquid.
Why do I take a sharp intake of breath at the mention of that disgusting word?
And why do I sound like a lovesick dope whose one-sided unrequited affection is targeted at a sixteen year-old who squeals and knocks into doors (I suspect that was just to cheer me up. I THINK.) Not to mention Singapore is a conservative society with little tolerance for homosexuals.
I wished I wouldn't think so weirdly.
Oh gosh, I wish I wouldn't think so teenage-like. Not to mention like a gay. Not that I'm homophobic or anything.
What happened to the good old days where you could depend on crying to get to your milk bottle? ._.
I'm really breaking all my rules on language and sentence structure, aren't I?
Who cares. Anyway, I spent the whole day staring at the phone to see if he would reply. While reading Garfield Comic Collection: Fat Cat Attack.
I realized Weiyang's a very nice person! As in he's a nice person, that's all.
That might explain why I'm still glancing at my phone even though it seems clear that he's gone.
The first time I really got to know him was... when I invited him to lunch with the 'Xuan Clique' (Huiyao, Jiexuan, Zheng Yu, Zheng Yang and I) at Mad Jack and I felt guilty for having him spend so much money when he could have a meal at poolside so I treated him (I try to ignore my days of poverty that month).
Ever since, he almost always tells me that I'm too nice to him.
One can never be too nice, I told him.
(Except when the one you're being nice to someone who happens to had sworn at you as you told him off for not helping to do something so minor it could kill him as he would breaking the law that states, "All slackers engaging in minor activities deserves a life sentence, death, or a fine of bankruptcy")
No wonder I didn't go for the chalet.
Anyway, I guess the reason why I like Weiyang as a senior is that he's generally a very nice person.
I could imagine him being the bookish person who visits the library everyday and kept to himself where everybody called him a sissy.
Not that it's necessarily true.
Not that I'm being a massive stereotypical person.
Not that I can't survive without him.
Which is true, in a way. One of the things I like about him is how he doesn't make me or himself reliant on each other.
Not that we're that close friends yet.
Not that it has sexual connotations, mind you.
Not that I'm a very reliant person.
But anyway, he doesn't offend you, nor gets offended easily. He's a nice person.
I've said that four times.
Not that I'm out of words.
Not that my vocabulary is that microscopic.
Oh alright, fine, maybe it is.
Not that I'll proclaim it to the whole world. The nice thing, I mean. Not my vocabulary.
I wonder if he would read this post and think I'm a (to quote from Weiqi's blog) SICK gay and run the opposite direction everytime he sees me and scream, "AHHH, gay, faggot, mutant, monster, condemned one, freako!"
Now isn't that comical.
Ah, whatever. My sexual orientation to for me to know and you to guess. (But I think you wouldn't be interested to know.)
Ah whatever. Weiyang can come back whenever he wants as long he comes back for the concert. (Then why am I secretly hoping the concert is coming sooner and sneaking another peek at my phone?)
Ah whatever, this is the crappiest, most random, most atrocious and egregious post I've ever typed.
(Yes, no more snide, if funny, bracketed remarks, go to sleep kiddo.)

signed, jiasheng

19th Sept
hci
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