blog/enigma

Saturday, November 18, 2006

5:25 PM

I've not posted for a long time. It might mean some people would be quite delighted to see an updated post there.
If I have to list everything since the last post, I guess I would have to spend my time compiling a book. And if I had the superb memory to remember every paraphernalia, MENSA would have invited me to join their high IQ club.
I'm pretty sure I'm a savant though. It provides a convenient excuse why I can remember the word "Floccinaucinihilipilification" (which means, 'the act of accessing something as worthless', by the way) but I cannot calculate algebraic linear calculations without adding an extra mantissa or warping it into a number so atrociously different from the correct answer that my Maths teacher declared me a perverse individual who bends the very laws of reality by coming up with such insolence.
Actually, she did not verbalise it, but I know it when she gives me the look.
Anyway, back to the original topic.
Last night, I had a nightmare that now, seems comical. I shall refrain from typing it out in case a psychologist reads it and analysed in the typical Fruedian fashion that I'm mentally unstable and I need lifetime therapy and I ought to be committed to an asylum bound by chains and permanently sedated with tranquillizers.
Besides, it doesn't lend credit to my seemingly secure image, and in order to maintain my reputation (like I have one in the first place) I shall not and will never mention it again. Unless someone asks me about it.
Miss Meredith will probably curtly inform me on MSN that I'm insane. Which I would reply to, "Don't you know that already?"
In case my band seniors see this (namely Weiqi and Liu Zhen. I wonder if they still read it) and start thinking the wrong way about me and Meredith, I shall clear all doubts by saying Meredith is this pesky P6 junior of mine who is a basic loudmouth and claims to be an incredible observer and is currently finding out who I like. She's probably going to say I have a crush on my Alma Mater's cleaning lady or something.
Speaking of "wrong", my friends have concluded I think wrongly frequently. "Wrongly", thinking sexualized thoughts or connecting everything to sexual connotations. And that conclusion came from a lunch at Swensens.
Venue: Swensens, Toa Payoh central
People: Mavis, Sylvia, Rebecca, Maria, Jiasheng
What: Lunch
When: Er.. Lunchtime?
What happened: We were ordering dessert after lunch (noticed I used the singular noun form - the lunch was exorbitant, to say the least) and as we flipped through the menu, or "manure", as Mavis calls it, we found an interesting item.
"Topless 5, You can choose from 5 different flavours, served topless for your pleasure"
Yes, I'm not making this up. Naturally, you would connect 'topless' with something 'wrong' right?
So there you go, 5 kids giggling over 'manure'. Actually, 4 kids, as Syl was busy getting a cone at the counter.
Therefore, when the waiter came, we asked him about it. I half-giggled like a hysterical girl and asked him, "Why does is it written in such a suggestive way? I mean, "Served topless for your pleasure?" It sounds wrong."
He was trying very hard to hide his mirth. It's hard to be a waiter when you have to serve little kids with big mouths.
"Topless here would mean it is not covered with any flavouring and it is presented with its original flavours."
Alright, I said. We'll have *cough* one Topless 5.
So as he took our orders, Syl and the others dubbed me 'the-one-who-thinks-wrongly-and-speaks-freely"
Anyway, `the waiter was still laughing when he concluded our meal when the bill came. He was saying, "You had one Curry Chicken Set, one Baked Chicken Fried Rice, One Italian Spaghetti, and one *a commendable and conscious effort not to be subjugated to laughter is observed* Topless 5,"
Another big decision: I've decided to work!
Which is a big statement, seeing that I've no idea who would be my first boss.
I got that idea from various sources: the first one was admittedly from Nicholas, who , at my guess, works in a bar. Of course, I'm not going work in such a place. I'm very biased against him, I don't know why.
Anyway, Syl's mum wants her to work too. I haven't got an inkling why anyone would want their 13-year old daughter to work. Especially one that whines and jumps when she's upset and tends to get violent with her bestie when he lists her faults.
Haha. Okay, I'm going to get it from her on MSN.
But the idea interests me and although I'm definitely not going to finish my novel in time before the holidays end (in fact, the writing work has been put on hiatus as I'm either too lethargic to work, or I'm too disgusted at my plot.
I got the idea of tutoring kids though. My dad said once that he would pay me to teach my sister (she got all band 2s for her subjects) but she was having a tuition teacher then and I said I didn't want to sack the tuition teacher (even though she's a bimbo-er bimbo than Veronica in Archie Comics and calls her boyfriend while teaching and puts makeup and wears indecent clothing. Wait. I should have sacked her).
And my uncle, who is a kiasu and have a 6 year old kid who knows more than me, asked me to teach that brainiac daughter of his Japanese and would pay me 100 bucks a month. I said I was too busy. (The actual reason being I want to hold some advantage over my cousin in case she grows to be even more of an intellectual than me. Which is quite immature on my part. Seeing that my uncle would probably hire someone else.)
I mentioned it to my mother over breakfast at the coffee shop, right after I told her about the nightmare I had. She was still musing about my dream and after I told her about my inspirations, she had the look she would show if I told her I have gotten full marks for a Chinese pop quiz (translation: blank look)
Then she told me to pass me her coffee, which I did.
I asked her if she wanted to be her first customer. Chinese pop quiz again.
My sister immediately quipped up, "No!"
Then I asked if she had any colleagues that she might refer to me. She muttered someone's name and smiled thoughtfully.
Later that day, when I reminded her again, she said she was glad that her son is so interested in earning money. That's while she's blowing her hair dry.
Pros of getting a holiday job:
I can finally have some sort of financial security when I have a Swensens meal. I had to share lunch with Mavis. Which sounds sweet, but I bet she's secretly pitying me that I'm such a loser.
Yep. That's all. Maybe, add in the fact that I love to teach. Now compare the disadvantages:
Cons
You have to fifteen to work. That would mean the police would arrest my boss. Maybe I should ask Mr. Orange Coffin for a job.
I'm too shy at times. It's very socially crippling, especially when you're thirteen and looking for something to do to earn your right to eat without worrying at Swensens.
I can't do long-term. Band saps almost all my time. Mr. Lim is already quite disgusted at me for being away for a week at the camp. So that would mean less time to work.
Spicy has a job at the school bookshop, I hear. That's wrong. He shouldn't be doing it first! *Now here's a bit of male jealousy our dear psychologist would like to study*
I'll think about it again.
Postscript: Go read 'the boyfriend list' by e. lockhart. It's a very interesting book. And it adds to my preaching skills.
'Jiasheng aka Preacher

signed, jiasheng